You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free, but in my own case I refuse to be set free from the truth, I wanted to change what I did not create and how it came about. I always made effort to change anywhere I find myself, I somehow find myself close to the pulpit because of God’s grace upon my life, I love service and will attach myself straight away into activities and just anywhere I can start doing something for God, which is one of the reason many like me.
I will suspend my life, brain, and everything to serve under people I find myself upon, believing that my service in the house of God will bring blessing, protection and many things to my life. I have attributed God’s divine blessing as my dedication and hard work in the things of God, and not that it is a free gift. Some will say “I say because you work in this church, you’re safe and protected” and I believe it with all my heart. I use to lie to back up stories ” The Lord told me this before I got here and I shared it with you, am I lying? And I will answer “yes you’re not lying, it’s true.” But there was a day I received serious warning in my dream never to do that again or else “I will sure you that I’m God.” I was afraid and shaken when I woke, up and that was the end of my agreement to any sort of lies flying on the pulpit. So whenever I hear “did I not tell you this before we came.” I simply say “sorry I can’t remember.” I was too afraid of God and at the same time, I didn’t want to offend man, how sad indeed.
I was making every effort to enforce change, let’s do this, let’s bring the word to the pulpit so that people will know the word, and every effort was futile because obviously program is the main thing and not studying the word. But when God loves you so much He will still speak to you in your ignorance and stupidity, I receive a message from God one day and He said: “get out before it’s too late for you.” By then I knew it’s time to leave but by the time I made up my mind to leave, it was too late for me, the did was done, delay became dangerous, I became Lot’s wife, it was difficult to leave people I’ve known for years just name it, I began to make all sorts of excuse. The price of disobedience and delaying my leaving was huge and it nearly caused me my life.
Our leaving was bitter, with so many lies, accusation, hatred, persecution, it was full of pain, sorrow so much tears, what started well became a bad end. The people leaving were all hit with afflictions some loss of income, loss of marriage, so many enemies all around, what began so well became so bad, we were treated like lepers, many will see you on the road and give you bad look, isolation, loneliness, O the journey to freedom is truly not for the brave, and to make the whole matter worse I became very sick. I lost so much weight from size 18 down to size 10, I cried morning and night, the tears never seized, O it was pain all through, I was so afraid, fear became master over me, my God I crieeeeeeeeeeeeed
I was sick and fighting for my life, but did I learn a lesson? no I didn’t, I’m yet to learn lesson O. I was calling almost ten prophets in a day from all over the world for healing, many collected money and promise false healing and hope, all my hope was in these Prophets, I read psalms tire, read psalms into the water, food, sleep even when awake just name it. All sorts of dangerous prayers, like ” fall down and die, kill and go, I put names in the bottle, sand, stones, salt, water, drinks, just name it, I use every object to connect my prayers, but all to no avail.
What was chasing me was being empowered daily, all the people I prayed against did not die, but they were all chasing me in my dreams, I got angry one day and deleted the number of all these Prophets and never called them again Arh!! religion is a bastard. But there was one that stood out, he was praying morning and night without collecting a penny, he was also calling, I mean this Prophet stood out. So at this time, I stopped looking for Prophecy and false hope and stick to prayers, but my people, prayer without knowledge is absolute stupidity and it’s like a small chicks crying where a Lion is, I was tormented day and night, I couldn’t sleep, I was in and out of hospital fighting for my life, I was dreaming of death every day, I was leaving in fear and became a watchman in the night because of fear of bad dreams.
This is when I embarked on prayer books, I bought prayer books from almost anyone, and pray from those books for hours, days, months, midnight prayers, 12pm, 3pm and all the three hours interval prayers, yet I still have not taken time to study the word and know God through relationship instead of through affliction. He was waiting, watching and hoping I’ll remember to see Him as my last stop, but one day while I brought out these books praying, wetting the whole house with water, salt, oil just name, it’s a serious ritual to go to bed. My daughter just this night was laughing at how I use to pour water everywhere in the house in the name of protection, and I slipped one day and broke my leg, chai!! why would someone choose ignorance?
So as I was busy doing my nightly ritual before I sleep, guess who came knocking on the door of my heart? Grace came to pay me a visit, the grace of God found me in my stupidity and accepted me in my hopeless and helpless state, Jesus the merciful Saviour came to me when I refuse to go to Him, He came to me when works, effort, and self -help could not save me, Jesus stretched out His hand of love towards me.
I heard this still voice inside me asked “what are you doing, what are all these? Opening a book and reading every verse to talk to your father, who am I to you? I said you’re my father, then “He said I got you already, you don’t need all these, the only place you will find me is in the word not in all these, go and study and wait, I’ll tell you what to do.” I had this peace within me like never before, and for the first time, I slept peacefully like a baby. And in the morning, the first I did when I woke up was to discard all the rituals I had in my house straight to the bin, I held on to His word in my head “I got you.” And I began to wait for His instruction. But have I really learned a lesson? For where
TO BE CONTINUED
~ Ada Jesus